Sickness

I wonder how babies feel when they're sick. Ian is now 18 months old. He's had fever on and off today, has vomited once, and is generally very unhappy. All he seems to want is water and to lean against me in the recliner, his head turned to one side and resting on that flat, soft plane of skin below my collar bone. He likes to simply be there, listening to I suppose my heartbeat. He clearly finds comfort in this.

When I'm sick, I know what it is (a cold, a stomachache, a cough) and I know it will pass (unless I'm experiencing anxiety and depression and become afraid I'm terminal with something). But what is it like to be sick when you can't process information? Are you afraid? Aware of only the pain and the relief from it? Do you sense your own mortality, as a sick baby? Or do you know it will pass? All I can do is let Ian lie on my chest, stroke his damp, feverish head, offer water, kiss his hands.